It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
