Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He shit in the fireplace
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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