Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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