yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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