ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
