i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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