nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
