dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
