Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
