well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
