the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
