So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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