I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
it glows. i had to have it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
