But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
