miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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