toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
