Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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