so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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