It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
