BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Houston, we have a blender
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
