guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
