My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
