Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
