i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
