we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
