When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
