about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
