Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
