I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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