3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
