Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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