He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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