I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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