Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
