Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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