So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
