So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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