Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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