There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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