yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My feet surprised me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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