she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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