His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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