You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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