I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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