stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
