Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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