So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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