i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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