once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Green mimosas i think yes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
