oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
