So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
