I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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