You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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