it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We got so high we made milksteak
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You took a bar mat shot.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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