I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
