I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
